If you are considering divorce after quarantine, take your time and be intentional about moving forward.
The stress and drastic changes caused by COVID-19 have forced us to reflect on our lives. Quarantine has magnified certain aspects of our lives that we may have been able to hide or push to the background during easier times. For some people, their thoughts have turned to reconsider the future of their marriage relationship. If you are considering divorce, slow down and carefully examine your options.
If there was tension with your partner prior to the pandemic, quarantine has likely exacerbated those feelings. In contrast, if you were on a non-stop cycle of work, chauffeuring kids to activities, and managing multiple priorities, you may have realized that you prefer a slower pace. For some marriages, the additional stress of quarantine has led to a breaking point.
If you are experiencing increased annoyance and conflict with your spouse, you may need some space and/or marital therapy. Carefully evaluate your desire to end your marriage. Understand if your feelings are stemming from long-standing problems you have tried to minimize, or if they are due specifically to the pressures of the current crisis. Many of our usual coping strategies are not available during quarantine.
You may choose to seek individual therapy, or support as a couple. Many therapists are available to see clients virtually during quarantine. If you choose couples therapy, be discerning in your choice in provider. Find a therapist who you and your partner both feel comfortable with, and be honest about the issues in your relationship.
As you consider divorce, be wise to research and review your options. Think about the kind of divorce you want. This allows you to maintain more control over the outcome, and to create a plan that works for your family and your unique situation.
Leah Hill, Founder and CEO | Divorce Strategies Northwest
If you conclude that divorce is the answer, think through your timeline with a cool head. Do you have a logistical option for immediate separation? For now, try to minimize conflict and focus on your strengths. If you and your spouse are a good team with the kids, minimize “couple time” and focus on your children now. Find a way to tolerate this time, quietly plan for the future, and take intentional steps forward.
As you consider divorce, be wise to research and review your options. Think about the kind of divorce you want. This allows you to maintain more control over the outcome, and to create a plan that works for your family and your unique situation.
Whatever you choose, always put your children first. Children and teens are experiencing their own stress from the pandemic— recognize that they may need additional patience and support at this time. Kids do best in divorce when conflict is minimized, they are not put in the middle, and they continue to have a meaningful relationship with both parents. Kids need to feel safe, and to see that you love them enough to work together.
Allow yourself the time and space to make a decision with information, clarity and confidence. Finally, get the support, both personal and professional, that you need during this evaluative time. Experience, support and self-care are vital foundations for moving through a divorce in a healthy way.
Your Trusted Partner
Whether you’re contemplating a divorce, have already started the process, or are far into the proceedings, do you wish you had someone to share with you the inside scoop on how to save money, time and emotional energy on your divorce?
Our team is available for a complimentary virtual consultation to discuss the many scenarios, options and implications of separation or divorce, via telephone or videoconference during this time. Feel free to get in touch with us; we are here for you!
