One of the bright sides of getting divorced, (yes there actually are some positives,) is that it represents the start of your new life in which you now get to do things your way.
Finding a New Post-Divorce Home
Finding a new home is often a big part of that fresh start. For many, letting go of the family home is difficult. After all, it is often the place where we made memories as a couple, or as a family. The home itself often represents that last toe hold on your life as a married person. When you permanently leave the home, you feel as is you are permanently leaving a part of yourself and your former life. And for parents, this can be even more agonizing. Parents often feel that staying in the home is best for children who have already experienced such drastic changes in their lives through a divorce and splitting time between two homes.
But sometimes selling your home and starting new is the best thing you can do. This is especially true from a financial perspective. When you’re in negotiations with your spouse during the divorce proceedings, determining what to do with the house should be carefully considered. The first thing you need to ask yourself, with the help of a divorce professional, is can you afford to keep the house?
Insisting on holding onto the house based strictly on emotions is a huge mistake that many divorcing spouses make. In their need to avoid change, they fail to consider the long-term costs of keeping the house including property taxes, homeowner’s insurance, and paying a mortgage on one income. Sometimes, holding on to the house isn’t in the best interest of the family.
“Allow your new home to be a space that nurtures your spirit and helps you heal and transform into the new you!”– Lissy Des Voigne | Divorce Coach at Divorce Strategies Northwest
Your New Sanctuary
So if it is time to seek out a new home, don’t fret. Perhaps it isn’t the worst thing in the world. Instead, see your new home as your new sanctuary, a place to rebuild your life exactly as you want it this time around. Find a home that you love, that helps you cope with the loss that you’ve experienced and feels like a place to create new memories.
When seeking out a new post-divorce home consider the following:
- It should be affordable. With a single income, it’s very important in your post-divorce life to have a clear sense of your budget. Your rent or mortgage should exceed no more than one fourth of your total monthly income.
- It should feel like home. Personalize it and create a space that really feels like you. This means painting the walls your favorite color, decorating with items that really speak to you, organizing things in a way that feels clean and fresh. If you have children, this is a great place to get them involved by allowing them to pick their own paint colors and décor for their rooms.
- It should feel fresh and new. Out with the old, in with the new. Clear the clutter from your past life, anything that brings up bad memories or, as Marie Kondo would say, no longer “sparks joy”, should go. Only bring in new items that represent the new you and your new life. Create new rules and traditions as a family around meal times, bed times and activities.
Allow your new home to be a space that nurtures your spirit and helps you heal and transform into the new you!
Your Trusted Partner
If you and your ex-spouse are struggling with co-parenting, or perhaps you’re in the initial divorce process, we’re here for you.
We’re here for you. We help you consider your options, arm you with practical information, and strategize with you how to navigate your divorce. Feel free to get in touch with us; we are always available to help!